I Am

I’ve been wanting to write about last Sunday’s Gospel all week.  Things tend to get busy around here this time of year.

John 8 46-59

46 Which one of you convicts Me of sin? If I speak truth, why do you not believe Me? 47 He who is of God hears the words of God; for this reason you do not hear them, because you are not of God.”

48 The Jews answered and said to Him, “Do we not say rightly that You are a Samaritan and have a demon?” 49 Jesus answered, “I do not have a demon; but I honor My Father, and you dishonor Me. 50 But I do not seek My glory; there is One who seeks and judges. 51 Truly, truly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he will never see death.” 52 The Jews said to Him, “Now we know that You have a demon. Abraham died, and the prophets also; and You say, ‘If anyone keeps My word, he will never taste of death.’ 53 Surely You are not greater than our father Abraham, who died? The prophets died too; whom do You make Yourself out to be?” 54 Jesus answered, “If I glorify Myself, My glory is nothing; it is My Father who glorifies Me, of whom you say, ‘He is our God’; 55 and you have not come to know Him, but I know Him; and if I say that I do not know Him, I will be a liar like you, but I do know Him and keep His word. 56 Your father Abraham rejoiced [a]to see My day, and he saw it and was glad.” 57 So the Jews said to Him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham?” 58 Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham [b]was born, I am.” 59 Therefore they picked up stones to throw at Him, but Jesus [c]hid Himself and went out of the temple.

There is so much here and every time I sit down to try to suss it out, I always get caught up on I Am.  Two of the most profound words ever spoken.

Exodus 3:14

14 God said to Moses: I AM WHO AM. He said: Thus shalt thou say to the children of Israel: HE WHO IS, hath sent me to you.

I have learned about these words before, I believe from Father Barron, but I’m starting to lose track of where and when I have learn what lately.  Now I ask you to bear with me here, because I cannot seem to bring together my thoughts on this into any kind of tangible form.

I hear and read these words, I Am, and they are so profound.  When first hearing them, one sits and waits for the sentence to finish.  We expect more.  What we get is, I Am.  To say it so simply, like it is so obvious, I almost want to believe it comes from a man who is stuffed up on Pride. But these words come from Jesus.  The Man who is both God and Man.

Christ Panocrator

But Jesus himself says,  But I do not seek My glory; there is One who seeks and judges.  And also, “If I glorify Myself, My glory is nothing; it is My Father who glorifies Me, of whom you say, ‘He is our God’ There is no pride, only utter simplicity.  I Am.  I am, always was and will always be.  I am he who is sent by my Father to save you.  I am he who will go up on that cross to suffer and die for you.  I Am. There is so much more!  These are words I think of often, to try to begin to comprehend.  The harder I try the more elusive they seem.  Very occasionally, meaning will slam home and for a moment, I understand.  Only to have the sweetness slip away again. I Am.

The above is a photoshopped version of the Christ Pantocrator which shows Christ’s two distinct natures, called Dyophysitism (I learned this here, from Ann Barnhardt). I’m well aware that this post may have problems.  Many in fact.  It’s been floating around in my head and I needed to get it down as best I could.  It falls amazingly short.  I believe one could spend a life studying these two amazing words and still not reach their full meaning.  Please, rip this apart if it deserves it.  I need to know more.